wait ended

kalale daati nee roopam naa kalla mundhu vachi nilava bothondi
manasu poralanu veedi naa matalu ninnu chera nunnayi

inni naalla nireekshana veedanundi

entha andanga chithrinchalanna naa ooha ku andani andhamaina chithram laane undena
ee drushyanni badranga dachukovalanna nuvve nindina ee manasulo chotu undena!!!

buon compleanno - my dear friend

buon compleanno
with every birthday
this age of yours will change
with growing age these relations you have might change
and with these changing relationships you might change
but with anything and everything, I know one thing that would never change,  the bond we share!!!!

buon compleanno
we might live miles apart
we might not see each other daily
we might not even talk to each other
but i know deep down that there is u for me
who made me believe in myself, who laughed at my silliness, who shared my pain, who strengthened me by giving your shoulder
and I believe and hope it brings in such memoirs to u too

Bhagat singh died at the age of 23

I came across an inspirational message that Bhagath singh delivered for his comrades inspiring them to sacrifice their lives for the country. I was googling about him and I started thinking when I came across this, he died at an age which in current world is not evem seemed right to decide what we wanna achieve in our lives.  The age where confusion is the new clarity.

I had multiple thoughts running in my mind.
Probably he has not seen a life beyond struggle against british, by life i mean the usual life which most of us today wants to live and achieve at that age wealth, education,love, marriage, sex, children, property, freedom, enjoy, travel etc etc

There would certainly be a section of people who would have felt " he died worthlessly because what  he achieved is probably a drop in the huge ocean of independence struggle. with or without which also we would have achieved independence "

There would be another section who would be of the opinion " every one who lives has to die one day at least he made a meaning to his life and will be remembered for the life after him"

 Does it really mean anything to a dead person what people would think after him? does he hear them or feel them?

May be all that matters is his conviction and satisfaction in doing what he wanted to and what he believed in and what he felt was important what he saw was necessary and what gave him happiness and purpose. The least of his thoughts would have been what people of either sections would say or feel !!!!!!!! don't u agree with me?

Every action we do is perceived as a coin and there is always a handful who would see it from either sides of it. So better care less about those views and perceptions and do what we truly would believe in !!!!!! Its time to live our lives and when the purpose is noble enough history would follow itself

aa roju......

vammo appude 11 ayyindi ga anukuntu baaranga kallu therichaanu. kallu inka baruvu gaane unnayi. ninnati godava affect mari.


thanu matram ennallani opika padathaaru edo idharam koncham educated forward thinking families nunchi vacham kabatti ee matram workout ayyindi.thanaki engagement naade cheppanu nenu chala indivudual ani, naku  respect ivvagaligithene manaku set authundi ani.
edo conditions pettinatlu kaadu gaani prathi manishiki konni values opinions undaali and relationship sustain avvalante mutual respect avasaramani baavinche abhyudaya bhaavalu anna pedha maatalu cheppanu  kaani oka sagatu ammayini.

ammayilaki eppati nuncho ive baavalu unna cheppe swecha ledhemo ani nammuthanu nenu. maa ammano ammamano velli "yemma meeku kavalsina bartha ni nuvve choose chesuko" ani unte, eppudu pelli chesukovaale nuvve nirnayinchukune avakaasam unte vaadukune vallu kaadhaa ani aduguthe kachithanga aunu ane samadhanam cheptharu. nijjam andi nannu nammandi oka ammayi manasu inko ammayike thelusthadi.


inthaki nenu thanani adigina vishayam ento, enduku godava jarigindo cheppane ledu kadu.okarinokaru artham chesukunentha varaku idhari madya XYZ undakudadhu ani. manasulu kalavakunda kalisthe naaku wife anna feeling raadani cheppa thanatho.


thanu kuda chala reasonable korika anukunnadu. anduke marriage ayyi 1 month ayina nannu eppudu force cheyaledu,. kaani ninna nenu maree mondiga answer chesa anipinchindemo chala gattiga arichaadu


nenu vere udhesam tho chesthunna anipinchi untadi thanaki. lekunte asalu ee nela rojullo eppudu ala aravaledu. kaani em cheyanu nela rojulaina naku ee place, ee environment, ee being jobless edi nachatledu. set avvalekapothunna. inka cheppalante jet lag kuda inka poledhane cheppali. yes, nenu france ki vachi 1 month ayyindi. India lo job friends family my dog my garden my favourite biriyani roju edo excitement undedhi kaani ikkada full bore. ekkadiki vellali anna thanu undaalsindhe. IIMA grad kada chala high pay, ikkada anni baane unnayi chala pedha individual villa, bullet proof walls, sophisticated house interiors, maid etc ila anni baane unnayi but cheppanu ga independent to dependent ga inka adjust avvalekapothunna and thanaki ekkuva time ledu naatho spend cheyadaaniki so naku baga time padthondi.


sorry ani watsapp cheddama, vadhu le direct ga lunch prepare chesi office ki velli idham thana fav saree lo debbaki flat ayyipothaaru ani thana thoughts ki break vesi washroom ki vellindi. 
phataphat snanam chesi, wardrobe lo normal night ware theesi vesukundi, velle mundhu ready audham ani. kitchen ki velli fridge open chesindi "abha vegatables lopaliki thechinatlu ledu sanjay " anukuni door daggariki vellindi. france lo anni online order ivvadame daily morning fresh vegetables door deliver authaayi. " arey keys ekkada petta" anukuntu keys kosam atu itu chusindi. abbaa  evee okka chota pettanu ga ani thananu thanu thikkutuntu vethukuthune undi.


uhuu labham ledhu surprise ledu bongu ledu thanaki call chesi adagalsindhe anukundhi.
sanjay chala systematic and specially cleanliness freak. oka pulla theesi vere chota pettina thanaki thelisipodhi malli adi correct place lo pette varaku nidrapodu anuko.
kopanga untaadu ela adagalo. fridge lo unna vaatithone cooking chesina ofice ki vellalante kavali ga keys anukuntu bed room ki vellindi.
phone unte ga, adi ekkada padesaano ippudu abhaa antu usoorumandi. flashback lo nyt ekkada pettana ani alochinchindi. thanaki baaga gurthu roju laage bed pakkana unna table paina pettindi. alarm 7am ki set chesi daily akakde pedthadi. kaani akakda ledu. thanaku enduko gundalo oka bayam start ayyindi. ikkade undaali kachithanga, kinda padindha ani vethikindi. ledu. ekkada petta. godava paddappudu ekkadaina visiraana ledhe. last evariki call chesa? intlo vallake adi party mundhu. party tharavatha late authadi ani party mundhe matlaaadesa.


ekkada poyindi, thanaki enduko normal ga anipinchatle. so living room lo unna landline nunchi missed call idham ani vellindi. phone dead ayyindi, anthe thana mind blank ayyindi. what is this keys levu, cell kanipinchatle, landline dead ayyindi, all this cant be coincidence.


ninna thana matalu takkuna strike ayayyi , aunu le room lo lock chesi himsinche abhayilane nammauthaaru naala soft ga artham chesukune abhayilante lokuve mee ammayilaki cheptha neeku cheptha. edo kopamlo plus thaagina mathulo ala matlaaduthunnadanukunna kaani nijjanage chesthadanukoledu.


cha cha ala em ayyundadhu, edo coincidence ye ayyuntadi. thanani 1 month ga chusthunna alanti vaaru kaadu ani thanaki thaane console chesukundi.


saketha focus, just focus. mobile ekkada pettavo alochinchu, last call, last message. eppudu eppudu. after party call chesava? cheyakunte party lo marchipoyi untaav, think think. ledu chesa vegetables order mobile app tho ne chesa adi car lo unnappude chesa return vasthundaga. so party lo miss avvale then where next car lo vadilesaana, ...
ledu ledu temperature chala challanga unte varsham vasthunda ikkada roads block ayithe thanu office ki vellaledu so check cheyamante chesa adi room lo enter authundanga naku baga gurthu. appude oka merupu kuda vachindi. lopaliki vasthe illu sound proof kada em vinalem ani kuda anukunna. so intiki thecha definite ga thecha. mari ekkada poyindi.


oka vela nijjanagne nannu house arrest chesunte thanu battalu theesukelli undaali ga, aa thought vachindo ledo paruguna bed room loki velli already therichi unna wardrobe ni chusa. gunde jallu mandi yes thana battalu konne unnayi.


shit, ayyipoyindi anukunnandantha jarigindi thanu nannu house arrest chesi vellipoyadu.   
OMG ippudu ela. cha asalu tension ki kallu chethulu vanukuthunnayi.


intha lo bell ring ayyindi. abha edo dhairyam vachindi adrushtam thalupu thaduthundi annatlu parugulu theesa. yes maa maid ayyuntadi. thanu vache time ye. yes, idi ela miss ayyadu sanjay. maid dagagra duplicate key kuda undi memu lenappudu kuda vachi wash chesi velthuntadi. naa santhosham aapukolekapoya. thannu nenu velleppatike 3 times ring chesindi. duplex kada raavadaniki time pattinidi.


nenu aa key hole vaipu aashaga chusthunna, thanu key pedathadhani.
ledu pettatle, shittt thanu key marchipoyindhemo, nenu silent ga unte evaru lerani vellipodhi ga ventane door knock chesaanu. thana voice naku vinipinchatledu ayyo ippudu em cheyali. ee roju thanu vellipothe, sanjay ki ee vishayam strike ayithe ee option kuda lekunda chestharu . no no ee avakashanni vadulukokudadhu should do something bt em chedam ela.


paper lo raasi kinda slight gap undi andulo pedadham anukundi. kaani maid ki english matladame kaani chadavadam raadu. ippudu ela? ekkuva time kuda ledu. matlaadaniki language kavali kaani express cheyadaniki language avasaram ledu. appude thanaki idea thattindi red ink pen tho danger anna picture symbolic ga raasi door lo nunchi bayatiki pampindi.


pampi door gattiga baadhuthune undi.kaani appatike maid vellipoyinatlundi. ayina thanu pattu vadalakunda evaro okaraina chustharu ga annatlu chala paers raasi bayatiki visiri vesthu undi.


ika aa nissahayathaku edupu vachesindi thanaki. thana kalla nellatho thanu geesina danger symbol cherigindi.
no saketha no, nuvvem palleturi nunchi raaledu, IIT lo chadivav. Come on dhairyam thechuko focus focus edo idea raakapodhu anukuntu thanaki thane dhairyam cheppukundi. laptop yes laptop , malli bedroom ki parugulu theesindi. laptop matram enduku unchuntaadu theesukellipoyuntaademo. ayina try chedam ani doubtful gane vellindi.


yes undi, adhenti nenu anavasaranag thanani anumaaninchaanemo, lap enduku pettesi velthadu ani santhoshantho naa moham veligipoyindi. lap on chesi password type chesa, incorrect passowrd password change today morning 6:30am ani alert vachindi. naa manasu malli pathalamloki jaarinatlaindi.
intha plan ela  cheyagaligaadu okka ratri lo, asalu nidrapoyundademo. thanu IITm lo btech chesthunnappudu ammayila accounts ni ela hack chesevaado, ela chala private messages chadivevaado anni okatokati gurthu vasthunnayi. chala intelligent ani murisipoyaa ippudu aa thelivi antha ikkade upayoginchaadu ga.


no no i will not let him win, i wil not. oka avaerage person annam thinakunda x days water thaagakunda y days brathakagaladu anta. ippatike nenu lechi 4hrs ye ga yyinid. np np em kaadu nenu bayatapadutha elaagaina ani mali dhairyam nooriposukundi. 4hrs ayyindi anukuntu wall clock chusindi. 3pm. daily sanjay naku call chese time, lunch tharavatha ventane meeting untadi thanaki meeting ayina ventane call chesevaadu daily marchipokunda.


cha, inka sex ye na sex lekunte wife wife kaada. inni rojulu dhaani kosame natinchaademo. ika nneu mondi ga unnannai asalu character bayatapettinatlunnadu. endaro ammayilu naa lage mosa poyuntaaru ga. ledu, nenu alanti oka ammayini kaadu naku vachina kashtaanni nene solve chesukuntaa.  i wil nt be  a loser.
cinemallo ilanti situations lo edche ladies ni chusi enni sarlu thittukuni untaano, em cheyalo alochinchaakunda edisthe panulu jaruguthaaya, evaraina vachi help chesthenena self ga help chesukolera ani enni matalu anedhanni. "where there is a will there is a way" these ladies are sick anukunedhanni. "where there is a will theer is a way" yes way . way undi terrace paiki. yes yes terrace opening ki oka door untadi aa door eppuud lock chese untadi.


ayina aa key untado ledho, entha IIM ayina hadavidiga chesetappuud edo okati vadilese untaadu proffessional criminal kaadu kada anukuntu door daggariki vellindi. hammayya anukundi. key petti door theesthondi . entha laaguthunna raavatle. chaala try chesindi kudarale, bayata nunchi vesinatlu anipinchindi. ee dhari kuda musukundhi anukundi.


akkade koolabdindhi. morning nunchi em thinaledhemo kada asalu energy ravatledu. neraalu goralu lo chusina anni cases ala mind mundhu parigeduthunnayi. vaati lonchi evaina clues vasthaayemo ani vethukuthondi. entra babu naa situation ani thala paiki ethindi.


eureka mind lo edo light veligindi, paina unna smoke sensor chusindi. asalu ee ille burn cheyali annatha kopam undi thanaki, kitchen lo velli stove on chesi, oka clothe ni veliginchi pattukodhamani kindaki vachindi. bt appude thanaki strike ayyindi, arey power cut time kada 3pm-5pm sensor emo pani cheyadu. ayina parle after 5 pm hope undi kada anukundhi.


ayina kudutugaa kurchovaalani ledu. 2 hrs tharavatha adi kuda pani cheyakapothe, cnt take chances. mind is racing now. edo oka way out undaali, firts ee bloody thoughts mothaanni flush cheyali anukundhi. flush ante gurthu vachindi washroom lo , guest rom washroom lo exhaust fan bayatiki face chesi untadi. so akkada nunchi aristhe evaro okaru vasthaaru.  thought vachindhe alasyam phataa phat akkadiki veli exhaust fan bokkalonchi bayatiki chusthondi. commode paiki ekki bayatiki asha ga chusthondi. evaraina kanipisthe bagunnu ani.akkada washing machine on ayyi undadam gamaninchindi. ee washroom asalu gen ga vaadane vaadam kada ani open chesi chusindi. andulo wardrobe lo miss ayyayi anukunna sanjay battalu unnayi


wat is happenning  confused ga undi. door open ayyinatlu anipinchindi. chusthe sanjay with a bookey and dominos cover. thanaki em artham kaaledhu. pata pata nellu kaaraayi oka udhutuna thanani hug chesukundhi. entha bayapaddanno annadi.


asalu emaindo artham kaani sanjay first thanani calm down chesi, kuchobettadu. emaindi ra emaindi cool ga cheppu ipppudu annadu. aunu wardrobe loni battalu enduku washing machine lo vesaav. adha nuvvu edo sketch box pettinatlunnav, adi leak ayyi chala battalaku antindi morning kanipisthe first wash chesi chudama nnatlu andulo padesi vella. laptop passwprd enduku change chesaav, arey adhemundi every month new passowrd set chesukomani adugudhi ga ee rojuki one month ayyindi, mari land phone pani cheyatle ninna varsham padindhi ga anduke cut ayyuntadi, asalu land line enduku vaadav nee mobile edi? ani adigaadu. nneu adagaalsindi nuvvu aduguthunnav enti annadi thanu. ekkada poyuntadi. let me try ani call chesadu thana mobile nunchi. switch off ani vasthondi. ekkadabha , aa ippuud gurthu vasthondi ninna nenu vesukunna jeans lone undi untadi. adha adi nenu washing machine lo padesa ga annadu!!!


idharam navvukunnam. thanani gattiga pattukuni dnt ever leave me alone ani hug chesukunna. aunu inthaki password enti ani adiga, "my love im sorry" is the password annadu. inka anthe aa hug inka gattipadindhi!!!!



I meet her for the first time each time

I fell in love with this line each time I read this line, I mean seriously this line is so very intense.
The meaning is so deep, I wanted to be loved like this.

why only few are able to enjoy that passion in love where as most of us fall in that category where people get bored,conversations become routine, the romance is just an act…..

I wonder which class I would belong to.. the passionate or the boring.
only I can answer it better than anyone else!!!!

everytime i see him smile
every night i see him sleep
every morning i see his half opened mouth
every time i kiss him on his lips
every time he holds my hip
everytime i lie on his shoulders
everytime i laugh with him
everytime i cry because of him
everytime I cook for him

every time everything I do for him and with him is so so very special.
So I still am in the passionate class, don't be jealous I am only few months in to the marriage:P

Marraige:(

when everything is a choice n everything depends on perspective,
there is no absolute right n absolute wrong in this world

Then why certain things are still held as holy and as MUST to have elements in life.
like marriage. is it not my personal choice ??

is getting married the gate way to escape loneliness and have a socially acceptable life?
what bat people who r divorced, whose partners have left this world?? wat about gays?
what about so many people who lose their children or people who are thrown to old age homes?

so if it not by choice n if it was enforced by what so called wise people call KARMA
then it is fine but not by choice. it is so evil to want not to marry.
it is such a big issue than anything in their lives for the parents.
why is this attitude, why is this liking for a routine mundane lifestyle??

it is fine if u guys are used to live that way, u can . u have every rite .
so am i, let me live my life the way i want to be.
i dnt find marriage a necessary element for continuing my life.
i dnt like the idea of getting married just because I'm 5 years older than the average marriage age in INDIA
or because my parents hair is getting gray or because my biological structure will be in trouble if not done things at the "rite time" or  because my relatives want a forum to gossip n have free food!!!


No , I dont want it that way. I really dont want it that way.
please leave me. why am i begging and what am i begging for n from whom am i begging?
isn't it a tragedy that i need to plead someone to live my life even if they are my parents.

wanting to live together is a very special feeling that should happen, it should just happen !!
let such a  beautiful feeling embrace me, let it drive me  crazy where i dont think about anything else but HIM.
LET THE DAY COME, I WILL INVITE U MYSELF, I WILL CALL U MYSELF but not like this.

Naatho nene

Thanaki dhuranga undali ani gattiga niryainchukunna modathi roju adi,
enduku ee niryanam ??  thanate prema ledhana, leka intlo vaallaki ishtam ledanaa, leka thanaki nenante ishtam ledhanaa??

emo!!! prathi katha lonu oka villian untaarata mari naa kathalo villian evaro!!!!

thanani lopaliki pilavaalani korukuntunna naa pedavulani maunam jayinchindi,
thanu bike start chesi "bye" ahi cheppi vellipoyaadu

nee pedavi sparsa kosam naa thanuvu loni prathi kanam eduru chusthu undani
nee vechati kaugili kosam 3 rojula nunchi eduru chusthunnanni
nee gundelapy thalavalchi haayiga nidurinchalani korukuntunnani

ila enno usulu inkenno korikalu, kaani ivevi athaniki
vinipinchaneledhu nenu palakandhe,
kanipinchanu ledhu cheekati vallemo!!!

ala paraagga room loki vachi, addam mundhu nilabadi unna.
inthalo  "dress marchukove dinner ready ani" naa roommate arupu
vasthunna annatlu thala oopa, thanaku kanipinchadanna dhyanam kuda lekunda

addam lo kanipinchindi naa mundhu rojula oka theeyati prema gayam,
daanni chusthu, aa theepi gayaniki abhishekam chesthunnatlu kaaruthunna kanneetini thudicha

gundela py thana valla vachina ee theepi gaayanni chusthu murisipona, leka
gunde lopala manduthnna badhani thalchukuni edchala?


prema undo ledo theliyani naa prema tho prema ga undakudadhani niryayinchukunna,
leni premani undani cheppi thanani thanu mosam chesukodam ishtam leni athanitho,
naaku prema lekunna parledhu netho prema ga untaa ani nannu nenu mosam chesukogalana??
anduke ee nirnayam, ………

Woman empowerment

Indian women traditionally have been the victims of patriarchal thinking,not just by men but even by woman themselves. mothers and mother in laws have this patriarchal philosophy so embedded in them that they religiously pass on to their progeny.  Woman are fed right from the day they got into this world as to what makes a perfect woman, how to talk how to walk how to dress how to obey orders how to be dependent on the male members of the family even if it is her own son.
Few female children are not fortunate enough to even learn all this, thanks to female infanticide.

Coming to what  I understand by women empowerment is, we would like woman to be informed on their rights and make her actively participate in the working of the system.
the first part of making powerful laws have been take care but is this enough??

There were laws made to empower women from the domestic violence, but would it be effective if woman has been taught that she has to suffer her husband's cruelty to be crowned as a good wife?
There were laws made to empoer woman economically by asking the parental property to be equally divided among the male and female children, but how effective will this be if it is to be robbed off her by a single signature asked by her husband/son?Divorce laws would make more sense when woman seeking divorce are not looked down by the society

What woman needs is not just empowerment with the laws being made on her favor but also a societal acceptance and woman herself believing in what she is .
in many cases a fellow women would be criticizing an other woman fighting for her rights!!!! why do u think that happens, its because of the old mind sets fed for years, that got to change for us to see
a world of equality. woman had to be taught to be more selfish, that it is ok to think of herself and not just her family. it is to be understood that fighting for ur rights and demanding what you duly deserve is not to be looked as a rebellion character but as natural it must be. only with a strong efforts on changing the mind set and social acceptance can any empowerment or any law would be effective.

If I were

It was a pleasant winter morning, with the soft breezes wishing me good morning, i lazily woke up
from my bed freeing myself from the cuddles of her.

but contrary to the nature's welcome it took me only few minutes to realize that i actually got up because
of some loud knocks on my door. I hastily dressed up and went to the door.
There i saw someone  through the peep hole and before I could ask who he is, the three lions on his cap were shining and made me salute him from inside.

he gave a weird smile and sarcastically asked me
"Sorry for disturbing you so early in the morning, I am sure you must have had a long night"
he barged in to my bedroom and questioned who she was, the one who is happily lying on bed cuddling the pillow still thinking I'm next to her.

How do I answer this simple question WHO IS SHE?
She, the angel, the love of my life.
I met her one day in a park where I used to almost daily walk aimlessly , questioning myself with so many unanswered questions,
blaming the society for the loneliness I'm in, talking to myself with none to share what I feel.
There was an immediate wave of attraction between us, as if we were meant to be met.
we spoke for hours that evening as if we knew each other for years, I poured out my heart before her
with no fears and same is the case with her. That day made a change in my life, in my lonely shattered worried life.

I found my life and love the same day. There after I have never looked back and it's almost an year now.

I was disturbed from my thoughts with his latti hit the cot and woke up my angel.
She got up with still half closed eyes , shouting for disturbing her sleep which i generally would not do.Her half opened eyes are searching for my smiling face, and her ears for a warm good morning from me which inturn has received  a  high pitch noise of the police man shouting "get up, u dog!!".

Tears rolled down my eyes as I immediately understood what is gonna follow, she hurriedly opened her eyes and realized what has welcomed
her this morning.
Police continued his yelling, " u both, the dogs are far better than u. u bloody girls are u not ashamed of doing this
in a society like ours. Put your clothes on and move with me u filty bitches." …. and the lines went on
and on.

We both silently dressed up and walked with him out of the small 1bhk flat which we recently moved in to ,
after we were embarrassed the same way in our previous flat a month ago. not to my surprise  we were
met with many piercing eyes from our neighborhood, some cursing, some murmuring, some looking at us
and sending their children inside as if looking at us would bring some bad omen to their families.These are the same neighborhood who would not turn up if a wife is bet red and blue by a husband, which
would not hear the cries of an youth bet and even killed in the name of honor. Yes it is the same neighborhood who are all eyes and ears
wen we were walking out of our flat.


An educated lawyer was yelling, take them away such a shame to my society!!
"Which society are u talking about, a society where a senior supreme court judge asked an intern to share a room with him? look in to your own
working society before worrying about the entire society"

A old lady was heard saying "rama rama, never in our days!!"
Why lady, why not in your age? when it is existing in your fore fore fathers age. keep your spectacles in place and
look in to temple carvings. u would see many of us there".

This is how silently I was shouting to the best of my voice to all these heartless people around me deep inside my heart and got in to the jeep.

I heard the horn of the jeep ringing it is ringing . it is not fading it is still ringing. Louder and louder each second.
yes it is ringing so loud that i could feel it next to my ear. intact it is the new doll that i have bought for my brother for his last bday that he
is ringing it in my ears to wake me up from my deep sleep. I got up and realized that I had such a bad dream may be it is not a bad dream.
it is an eye opening dream , I'm now 13 who is not sure about anything about future let alone my sexual orientation. I may not dare to follow my choices in this unjustful society!!!!!!

Will I Know it

After losing a leg in a recent accident , this is the first time me and my husband are going out for a walk.

can I look into his eyes and know if I have made his journey longer or slower?