Adagana adagana manasulo chinni kalavaram......

"Nannu dhuram peduthunnadu
Nenu artham chesukolenu ani enduku anukuntunnadu
Nijjanga em lekunte dhaachalsina avasaram emundi
Thana life lo there is one dark side
okappudu edaina naa tharavathe, natho share chesukunnake ippudu ala ledu
nenemaina chesunte cheppali kada, cheppakunte naku ela thelusthadi"

"osei aapave, koncham gap ivvu, cheppindhe chepthunnav, mental pillala"

"kaade aa chats chusinappati nunchi I am not able to stay calm,
chats chadavadame correct kaadu anukuntune chadivaanu, chadivaaka I dont know how to go ahead. there were a lot of things that he dint share with me.
his night outs, his gifts a lot of them. I just did not exist for him"

"ayina evo konni incidents netho share chesukoledu ani, nuvvu important kaadu ani ela decide authav, I think u need to calm down to think logically"

"kaade do u think only with one incident I would come to this conclusion, there were a series of incidents. I will tell you all of it but tell me one thing, do you think I will misunderstand a friendship between a man and a woman.Do you think I am that kind of person"

"amma thalli, ala antha alochinchaku, everyone knows that you are not like that, neeke chala mandi male friends unnaru"

"kadaa, alantidi if I see something wrong, andulo entho okantha reason undali ani alochinchodda?
  naadi friendship ye, artham chesukovatlev anduke I wanna hide it from you anukunte isn't stupidity.
   hide cheyatam valla naaku unna opinion inka aggravate authadi kaani what help will it do?"
  
"looks like it's time you talk with him openly lekunte mis communication valla gap perige chances unnayi,chat chadivav it is ok, antha pedha thappem kaadu, you can tell him and you can share with him what you feel about it"

"edo theliyani uneasiness undi, matlaadithe em antaado theliyatledu,
 dont micro monitor me ani ante?
 I know my limits , naaku naa friends ki madyalo unnadi it is my wish ante?
 If he thinks I am cheap because I read his chats?
 Neetho share chesukunentha important incidents kaadu avi ani simple ga daatesthe?......

 nenu paduthunnadi anumaanam kaadani, badha ani,
 thana happiness ayina sadness ayina naatho share chesukovali ani korukovadam preme kaani monitoring kaadani,
 naa nunchi daachadam valla nannu avamaanisthunnadani, thanaki artham authada?"

Beena bazar

Friday 2pm

sanjay: Hey, you free for the weekend, lets night out at my place, my wife is not home
avi: hey, wowwww, bachelor for the weekend, yes I can join, absolutely free and make sure absolut is at your place
sanjay: Ha bro, sure thing
avi: What about suresh?
sanjay: Have not seen him since morning, may b late night meetings
avi: The perk that comes with promotion
sanjay: Yeahh, but the other perks are too tempting to let this go off
avi: arey, since he is single its working for him boss, my wife tho would divorce me
sanjay: haha

avi: speak of the devil, hi suresh, good morning sir, its 2pm now
suresh: very good morning suresh, yeah man late night
avi : hmmmm, so we r planning at sanjay's place tonight, you free or some weekend meetings again
suresh : lemme check with my PA and get back to you ( with a wink on his face)
(both the friends started laughing)
suresh : kidding boss, yes lets party all night!!


Friday 7pm

Sanjay: chale lets leave now
Avi: Yeah, gimme 2 minutes
Suresh: guys, you both leave i will join you probably by 9pm, what about dinner, I can get some parcel while I come.
sanjay: yeah sounds cool
avi: where are you heading up man, some date?
suresh: why I would i come over night to your place if I have a date dude, you see
sanjay: avi, you have not improved man, lets go home I need to teach you a lot, else you will be divorced even without a promotion
avi: haha
sanjay: okay suresh see you there, dont be late

(in the car, on the way to sanjay's place)

avi: do you know where suresh is gng now?
sanjay: nope
avi: have heard about it, his friday routine
sanjay: whats this friday routine
avi: he goes to beena bazar
sanjay: what!! thats his friday routine???
avi: yes, and I have heard it from lot of people
sanjay : really?

Friday 9pm
music and chicken wings and more gossip going on
(why should girl's have all the fun)
bell rings

sanjay: come on in!!!
suresh : what guys, have u already started without me
sanjay: party just started

more whisky, more talks,more jokes
avi started dozing off, so wanted to finish the call with his family before he sleeps
sanjay and suresh got some time alone

sanjay: so how is your promotion treating you, lots of responsibility?
suresh : yeah man, lots and lots of meetings, hardly get time for personal life
sanjay : and whats up with your personal life? and what about the evening date?
suresh : haha, nope not on a date, went for some power yoga (wink on his face)

sanjay : so, what i heard is true indeed.
suresh : whats so hush hush about it

"everyone works to make a living, and what work you do will depend on what you have, money , education, looks, physical strength
and talent. People in beena bazar are in to this profession and there is a lot of need to it. This has been the oldest known human profession .
They have chosen it for their own reasons but it is the choice that
they made .  I am 29 and I am single and there is some physical needs for which I go there. I neither force them nor I rape them, so I do not see why i
should feel sad about it. Bloody problem with the Indian hypocrite mentalities. It is as simple as this."

(silence prevails. Slowly sanjay started speaking)

"when did u come to office today?"
"what, why?"
"just asking"
"around lunch time, probably around 1-2pm"

"how many leaves do you have in a year"
"22 days, I do not understand where this discussion is going on "

"are u recognised for the work you do"
"yes of course, i got promoted also recently"

"if you do not like the job or the timing or working culture, can you switch your job"
"who stops me from doing it"

"how many days you work in a week"
"ok, now its heights, can you pls stop asking these dumb questions and make your point"

"I do agree that according to ones skills and mental abilities one gets better life style.
But all the professions you see do enjoy certain kind of flexibility and respect and choice which unfornutaley
the ones in beena bazar do not . I totally agree that its always demand and supply that matters in an economy, since the need hence the supply.
but do you have any idea of how many people who provide these services to you are pulled in to this work without their choice.
they are traded like animals , trafficked, kidnapped, raped, sold after marriages. they can not choose when to work and with whom to w
work with, they enjoy neither benefits nor respect. Do you have any idea of the percentage of women who suffer with
a variety of STDs and the number of woman who permanently lose a chance of having babies.

(gets emotional)

"I am not against women using their sexuality to earn for their living, but not in the conditions that prevail currently.
let it be legalised, let they be provided with proper education on how to take care of themselves from all the medical conditions
that are possible keeping in mind the kind of profession they are in, let there be timings, let their be respect.
If the demand for the service is so high and so historic then let it be held high,let the woman
 choose it and let them earn on it and let their be a choice of opting out of it "


"The animal instinct in every human is as natural and pure as with any other animal but there is a reason why we are social
animals, we can not be blind eyed about the conditions of people who provide us with services.
we  need it so better respect it"

Yes, I wanna kill my daughter

Manushula praanaalu lekka cheyani swapna down down
aadajathiki aprathistha swapna down down


ee ninaadala madya nenu thana inti door bell kottanu.
idi oka vaaram nunchi thana inti bayata jaruguthunna thanthe.

ivi vini, thanedo thappa thaagi road paina speed ga car ponichi evarinaina champindi anukuneru
leka hundreds paiga abortions chesi pindaalani kappipettina doctor jaabithaalonu padadhu.

she is a wife of a rich businessman and a socialite,  nenu thanani interview cheyadaaniki vachina journalist

"hi please come in"
"thanks for accepting my request to take the interview, i know you must be pretty upset with whats happening around you.
thanks for taking out time for me"
"no, no, not at all. i was prepared to all of these. infact you are the only one who really wanted to hear my side of things"

"thank you, shall we start then"
(camera rolling)
konni rojuluga vaarthallo sanchalanam srushtinchina swapna gari intlo prasthutham manam unnamu.
bayata mahila sanghaalu, human rights sanghaalu ninaadaalu chesthunnaru.
vivaadaaspadam ayina swapna case judgement day ee roje kavadamtho andarilonu uthkanta nelakondi.
thanu endukila case veyalsi vachindi, daani venaka unna nijjanni thelusukune prayathnam cheddam

"cheppandi swapna gaaru, meeru ee case file chesinappudu ila vethirekatha untadani expect chesara'
"mana society konni so called definitions tho nadusthadi, and vaadopavaadaalu lekundaane theerpu cheppesthadi. so yeah expect chesa"

"mee case ki sambandinchi mee family kuda meeku support ga ledani vinnam"
"aunu, but im not alone in my case"

"ante? meeku support ga evarunnaru"
"my husband"

inthalo, kitiki addam pagilina sabdam vinipinchi, thanu atuga vellindi.
naa pakkane naa camera man unnaru, "idhenti husband antadi, thanu chanipoyi 6 months authondi ga"
"kompadeesi aa accident tharavatha mentally disturb ayyi thanani unnatle oohinchukuntondemo"
"anduke ilanti pichi cases petti news lo ekkuthondantaava?"
"naku matram em thelusu, ayina illu bale undi kada?"

thanu chepthunte chusa, chala andanga decorate cheyabadi unna illu kaadu kaadu bavanam adi.
prathi interior lonu aa class kanipisthu undi.
dabbu unnappudu luxury ki kodavem untundi.
inthalo thanu venakki vachindi

"do you wanna have some coffee or tea or something?"
"yeah green tea please"
"rani, please get us two green tea" ani thana cook ki puramaayinchindi

"so where were we?"
"mee husband meeku support ga unnaru ..."
"yeah deep inside im sure he is with me"  idi chepthu thana kallu chemarchaayi

"konni countries lo idi legal kaani India lanti countries lo idi inka oka taboo laage chusthunnam,
evariki idi oka easy decision kaadu, anni daarulu musukunnakane ilanti oka decision theesukuntaam.
idi artham chesukokunda "

"but, andaru verela anukuntunnaru, andam vayasu asthi anni unnayi so addam tholaginchukodaanike ila chesthunnaru ani, that you wanna"

ee mataki thanu appati varaku vesukunna musuguni thana kanneellu kadigesaayi
thanaloni amma bayatiki vachindi

"Yes, I wanna kill my daughter"
"yes i wanna kill her"

"please control yourself"

"kanna thalliga nenu thanaki bangaaru jeevithanni idhamane korukunnanu.
6 months back jarigina accident lo nenu sanjay ni pogottukunnanu.
naku naa sanjay ku migilina oke oka gnaapakam naa papa.
thanu pranalatho bayata padinappudu
thanani chusukodam kanna naa life ki vere em meaning undaa anukunna.
kaani she was diagnosied witht this condition where she can feel everything but can not talk and can never move in her life time.
thanani kallallo kallu petti chudaleni situation, ee 6 months ga thanu  paduthunna narakayaathana cheppinaa artham avvadhu"

kallu thuduchukundi, malli thanani thanu compose chesukuni cheppa saagindi.

"she wanted to become a pilot and fly in the air.
thanu adigindi kaadanakunda icham
ippudu kooda thanu aduguthondi, thanaki ila undalani ledani, vellipovalani

naa santhosham kosam , thanu brathikundi ani nenu sanjay ni thanalo chusukodaaniki
thanani himsinchadam correct kaadu anipinchindi

thanaki enno ivvali anukunna, thana prathi journey lo support cheyalani anukunna
thanu career lo success chusthe ammaga garvapadaali anukunna
thanaki nachina vaaditho pelli cheyali anukunna
manavadu manavaraaluni ethukovali anukunna
atleast andulo sanjay untaadu anukunna kaani ippudu nenu thanaki ivvagaligedi
chaavu matrame. oka gauravamaina chaavu

prapancham em anukunna naaku parvaaledu, nenu sanjay ki naa manasakhi ki matrame samadhaanma cheppali.
nneu naa papaki ee badha nunchi vimukthi kaliginchali, andu kosam nannu em anukunna parvaledu nenu ee case gelichentha varaku
poraadutha. thanaki nenu ivvagalige last gift iche theerutha"


car driver vachi "mam manam court ki vellali"
"yeah vasthunna"

Thanu akkadi nunchi lechi vellipoyeppudu thanatho paatu ,  matalloni nijaayithini,  kallallo  thalli prema ni ,
pillala santhosham kosam amma entha dhuram ayina velthundi ani niroopinche dhairyaanni annitini kalipi theesukellindi.

Challenge... stay tuned

A one month challenge:
 Learn a new word every day for a month
 Write a  sentence with the word learned
 End of every week, a writeup using all the learned words

I am quite excited to take up this challenge, inspired through a lot of TED talks:)
Will keep updating this post with all of it, I hope it is gonna be intellectually challenging and fun way to improve the vocabulary.


We all should take up something to keep ourselves excited from the mundane tasks we have.
So what is yours, do share with me:)

DAY 1: 9/7/17
 acquiesce : accept something reluctantly but without protest

Getting tired of explaining my innocent mom that facebook is not a book,
I acquiesced to walking into library in search of the unfound:)

DAY2:
Exodus: Mass departure of people
There seems to be a rising interest in BMTC drivers to an exodus out of the city

DAY3:
Impetus: something that makes a process or activity happen or happen more quickly
 The impetus it gave me to work after my manager told that I would be getting a new lappy cant be expressed in words. 

Sizzle dazzle brownie...

enni rojulani poyina vallane thalchukuntu untaava
nee kantu vere life ledha
poyina vallathone mana life aagipothunda
nannu ee age lo pettaku ra
ninnu ontari ga vadili velthunna anna badha migalchaku naaku

(konni nelala nunchi maa amma matladuthunna oke okka vishayam)

i know its hard to take in but edi jarigina mana manchike anukunta
everything is meant to happen
nuvvu thappu ga theesukokunte u guys were not very happy towards the end
emo idi oka unforeseen solution la chudachu ga nee situation ki
i think its time you move on

(idi naa close friends)


"sare amma, ee okka ammayini maatrame kalusthanu, thanaki naa gurinchi anni cheppava?"
samthosham aapukolekundi annadi antha dhuram lo unna picture clear ga voice lo vinipisthundi
"ee okka amamyini chusthe chaalu siddu, inko ammayini chudalsina avasaram raadhu,
mana vallalo mana gurinchi padichache family, asalu thinathone fix avvalsunde appatlone,
manaku anni vidaala anukulanga untadi" ani cheppukuntu pothune undi.

nijjame, modatidi thana prameyam lekunda jarigindi, anduke intha santhosham apppudu kanipinchane ledu

CCD lo evening six, intha tension eppudu padanatle anipinchindi.

"Hi Siddharth"
"Hey hi"
"enti ammayilani wait cheyinchadam kotha trick ah to impress "
"Hey adhem ledu, got late at office"
"just kidding, come on in"

(thanalo unna adhe chalaki thanam)

"so em theesukuntaru"
"I will have one sizzling dazzling brwonie"
"I will go with capaccino"

thanu aagakunda chakachaka matlaaduthu undi

"i love movies, travelling ante assalu istham ledu, cooking ah ok ok but
work ante passion, shopping picha picha ga chesthanu etc etc"

(naa alochanalu matram)

"thanaki movies ante baga istham, travelling istham leda, thanaki pichi travelling ante ,
cooking edo nenu barinchevaadini, shopping vishayam lo abhayile nayam anipinchentha lazy"

takkuna edo thattinatlu anipinchindi naku,
"sorry Aparna, i thought or i atleast i wanted to think that i have moved on.
but nenu inka neelo thanane vethukuntunna, i dont think im ready for this yet. i am really sorry. "

(inthalo order vachindi)

"idi kooda thana favourite, sizzling dazzling brownie"!!!!!

"mee wife ni complete ga macrhipoyi ikkadiki vachaav ani nenu nammi unte, ninnu kalisedanne kaadu,
i know it will take time but if you dont give time a chance you will never see the change"

(akkada nunchi vellipovali anukuni lechina nenu, malli chair lo kurchunna).


ee chair lo ila start ayina ee journey marriage hall varaku velthundo ledo, time will decide,

wait ended

kalale daati nee roopam naa kalla mundhu vachi nilava bothondi
manasu poralanu veedi naa matalu ninnu chera nunnayi

inni naalla nireekshana veedanundi

entha andanga chithrinchalanna naa ooha ku andani andhamaina chithram laane undena
ee drushyanni badranga dachukovalanna nuvve nindina ee manasulo chotu undena!!!

buon compleanno - my dear friend

buon compleanno
with every birthday
this age of yours will change
with growing age these relations you have might change
and with these changing relationships you might change
but with anything and everything, I know one thing that would never change,  the bond we share!!!!

buon compleanno
we might live miles apart
we might not see each other daily
we might not even talk to each other
but i know deep down that there is u for me
who made me believe in myself, who laughed at my silliness, who shared my pain, who strengthened me by giving your shoulder
and I believe and hope it brings in such memoirs to u too

Bhagat singh died at the age of 23

I came across an inspirational message that Bhagath singh delivered for his comrades inspiring them to sacrifice their lives for the country. I was googling about him and I started thinking when I came across this, he died at an age which in current world is not evem seemed right to decide what we wanna achieve in our lives.  The age where confusion is the new clarity.

I had multiple thoughts running in my mind.
Probably he has not seen a life beyond struggle against british, by life i mean the usual life which most of us today wants to live and achieve at that age wealth, education,love, marriage, sex, children, property, freedom, enjoy, travel etc etc

There would certainly be a section of people who would have felt " he died worthlessly because what  he achieved is probably a drop in the huge ocean of independence struggle. with or without which also we would have achieved independence "

There would be another section who would be of the opinion " every one who lives has to die one day at least he made a meaning to his life and will be remembered for the life after him"

 Does it really mean anything to a dead person what people would think after him? does he hear them or feel them?

May be all that matters is his conviction and satisfaction in doing what he wanted to and what he believed in and what he felt was important what he saw was necessary and what gave him happiness and purpose. The least of his thoughts would have been what people of either sections would say or feel !!!!!!!! don't u agree with me?

Every action we do is perceived as a coin and there is always a handful who would see it from either sides of it. So better care less about those views and perceptions and do what we truly would believe in !!!!!! Its time to live our lives and when the purpose is noble enough history would follow itself

aa roju......

vammo appude 11 ayyindi ga anukuntu baaranga kallu therichaanu. kallu inka baruvu gaane unnayi. ninnati godava affect mari.


thanu matram ennallani opika padathaaru edo idharam koncham educated forward thinking families nunchi vacham kabatti ee matram workout ayyindi.thanaki engagement naade cheppanu nenu chala indivudual ani, naku  respect ivvagaligithene manaku set authundi ani.
edo conditions pettinatlu kaadu gaani prathi manishiki konni values opinions undaali and relationship sustain avvalante mutual respect avasaramani baavinche abhyudaya bhaavalu anna pedha maatalu cheppanu  kaani oka sagatu ammayini.

ammayilaki eppati nuncho ive baavalu unna cheppe swecha ledhemo ani nammuthanu nenu. maa ammano ammamano velli "yemma meeku kavalsina bartha ni nuvve choose chesuko" ani unte, eppudu pelli chesukovaale nuvve nirnayinchukune avakaasam unte vaadukune vallu kaadhaa ani aduguthe kachithanga aunu ane samadhanam cheptharu. nijjam andi nannu nammandi oka ammayi manasu inko ammayike thelusthadi.


inthaki nenu thanani adigina vishayam ento, enduku godava jarigindo cheppane ledu kadu.okarinokaru artham chesukunentha varaku idhari madya XYZ undakudadhu ani. manasulu kalavakunda kalisthe naaku wife anna feeling raadani cheppa thanatho.


thanu kuda chala reasonable korika anukunnadu. anduke marriage ayyi 1 month ayina nannu eppudu force cheyaledu,. kaani ninna nenu maree mondiga answer chesa anipinchindemo chala gattiga arichaadu


nenu vere udhesam tho chesthunna anipinchi untadi thanaki. lekunte asalu ee nela rojullo eppudu ala aravaledu. kaani em cheyanu nela rojulaina naku ee place, ee environment, ee being jobless edi nachatledu. set avvalekapothunna. inka cheppalante jet lag kuda inka poledhane cheppali. yes, nenu france ki vachi 1 month ayyindi. India lo job friends family my dog my garden my favourite biriyani roju edo excitement undedhi kaani ikkada full bore. ekkadiki vellali anna thanu undaalsindhe. IIMA grad kada chala high pay, ikkada anni baane unnayi chala pedha individual villa, bullet proof walls, sophisticated house interiors, maid etc ila anni baane unnayi but cheppanu ga independent to dependent ga inka adjust avvalekapothunna and thanaki ekkuva time ledu naatho spend cheyadaaniki so naku baga time padthondi.


sorry ani watsapp cheddama, vadhu le direct ga lunch prepare chesi office ki velli idham thana fav saree lo debbaki flat ayyipothaaru ani thana thoughts ki break vesi washroom ki vellindi. 
phataphat snanam chesi, wardrobe lo normal night ware theesi vesukundi, velle mundhu ready audham ani. kitchen ki velli fridge open chesindi "abha vegatables lopaliki thechinatlu ledu sanjay " anukuni door daggariki vellindi. france lo anni online order ivvadame daily morning fresh vegetables door deliver authaayi. " arey keys ekkada petta" anukuntu keys kosam atu itu chusindi. abbaa  evee okka chota pettanu ga ani thananu thanu thikkutuntu vethukuthune undi.


uhuu labham ledhu surprise ledu bongu ledu thanaki call chesi adagalsindhe anukundhi.
sanjay chala systematic and specially cleanliness freak. oka pulla theesi vere chota pettina thanaki thelisipodhi malli adi correct place lo pette varaku nidrapodu anuko.
kopanga untaadu ela adagalo. fridge lo unna vaatithone cooking chesina ofice ki vellalante kavali ga keys anukuntu bed room ki vellindi.
phone unte ga, adi ekkada padesaano ippudu abhaa antu usoorumandi. flashback lo nyt ekkada pettana ani alochinchindi. thanaki baaga gurthu roju laage bed pakkana unna table paina pettindi. alarm 7am ki set chesi daily akakde pedthadi. kaani akakda ledu. thanaku enduko gundalo oka bayam start ayyindi. ikkade undaali kachithanga, kinda padindha ani vethikindi. ledu. ekkada petta. godava paddappudu ekkadaina visiraana ledhe. last evariki call chesa? intlo vallake adi party mundhu. party tharavatha late authadi ani party mundhe matlaaadesa.


ekkada poyindi, thanaki enduko normal ga anipinchatle. so living room lo unna landline nunchi missed call idham ani vellindi. phone dead ayyindi, anthe thana mind blank ayyindi. what is this keys levu, cell kanipinchatle, landline dead ayyindi, all this cant be coincidence.


ninna thana matalu takkuna strike ayayyi , aunu le room lo lock chesi himsinche abhayilane nammauthaaru naala soft ga artham chesukune abhayilante lokuve mee ammayilaki cheptha neeku cheptha. edo kopamlo plus thaagina mathulo ala matlaaduthunnadanukunna kaani nijjanage chesthadanukoledu.


cha cha ala em ayyundadhu, edo coincidence ye ayyuntadi. thanani 1 month ga chusthunna alanti vaaru kaadu ani thanaki thaane console chesukundi.


saketha focus, just focus. mobile ekkada pettavo alochinchu, last call, last message. eppudu eppudu. after party call chesava? cheyakunte party lo marchipoyi untaav, think think. ledu chesa vegetables order mobile app tho ne chesa adi car lo unnappude chesa return vasthundaga. so party lo miss avvale then where next car lo vadilesaana, ...
ledu ledu temperature chala challanga unte varsham vasthunda ikkada roads block ayithe thanu office ki vellaledu so check cheyamante chesa adi room lo enter authundanga naku baga gurthu. appude oka merupu kuda vachindi. lopaliki vasthe illu sound proof kada em vinalem ani kuda anukunna. so intiki thecha definite ga thecha. mari ekkada poyindi.


oka vela nijjanagne nannu house arrest chesunte thanu battalu theesukelli undaali ga, aa thought vachindo ledo paruguna bed room loki velli already therichi unna wardrobe ni chusa. gunde jallu mandi yes thana battalu konne unnayi.


shit, ayyipoyindi anukunnandantha jarigindi thanu nannu house arrest chesi vellipoyadu.   
OMG ippudu ela. cha asalu tension ki kallu chethulu vanukuthunnayi.


intha lo bell ring ayyindi. abha edo dhairyam vachindi adrushtam thalupu thaduthundi annatlu parugulu theesa. yes maa maid ayyuntadi. thanu vache time ye. yes, idi ela miss ayyadu sanjay. maid dagagra duplicate key kuda undi memu lenappudu kuda vachi wash chesi velthuntadi. naa santhosham aapukolekapoya. thannu nenu velleppatike 3 times ring chesindi. duplex kada raavadaniki time pattinidi.


nenu aa key hole vaipu aashaga chusthunna, thanu key pedathadhani.
ledu pettatle, shittt thanu key marchipoyindhemo, nenu silent ga unte evaru lerani vellipodhi ga ventane door knock chesaanu. thana voice naku vinipinchatledu ayyo ippudu em cheyali. ee roju thanu vellipothe, sanjay ki ee vishayam strike ayithe ee option kuda lekunda chestharu . no no ee avakashanni vadulukokudadhu should do something bt em chedam ela.


paper lo raasi kinda slight gap undi andulo pedadham anukundi. kaani maid ki english matladame kaani chadavadam raadu. ippudu ela? ekkuva time kuda ledu. matlaadaniki language kavali kaani express cheyadaniki language avasaram ledu. appude thanaki idea thattindi red ink pen tho danger anna picture symbolic ga raasi door lo nunchi bayatiki pampindi.


pampi door gattiga baadhuthune undi.kaani appatike maid vellipoyinatlundi. ayina thanu pattu vadalakunda evaro okaraina chustharu ga annatlu chala paers raasi bayatiki visiri vesthu undi.


ika aa nissahayathaku edupu vachesindi thanaki. thana kalla nellatho thanu geesina danger symbol cherigindi.
no saketha no, nuvvem palleturi nunchi raaledu, IIT lo chadivav. Come on dhairyam thechuko focus focus edo idea raakapodhu anukuntu thanaki thane dhairyam cheppukundi. laptop yes laptop , malli bedroom ki parugulu theesindi. laptop matram enduku unchuntaadu theesukellipoyuntaademo. ayina try chedam ani doubtful gane vellindi.


yes undi, adhenti nenu anavasaranag thanani anumaaninchaanemo, lap enduku pettesi velthadu ani santhoshantho naa moham veligipoyindi. lap on chesi password type chesa, incorrect passowrd password change today morning 6:30am ani alert vachindi. naa manasu malli pathalamloki jaarinatlaindi.
intha plan ela  cheyagaligaadu okka ratri lo, asalu nidrapoyundademo. thanu IITm lo btech chesthunnappudu ammayila accounts ni ela hack chesevaado, ela chala private messages chadivevaado anni okatokati gurthu vasthunnayi. chala intelligent ani murisipoyaa ippudu aa thelivi antha ikkade upayoginchaadu ga.


no no i will not let him win, i wil not. oka avaerage person annam thinakunda x days water thaagakunda y days brathakagaladu anta. ippatike nenu lechi 4hrs ye ga yyinid. np np em kaadu nenu bayatapadutha elaagaina ani mali dhairyam nooriposukundi. 4hrs ayyindi anukuntu wall clock chusindi. 3pm. daily sanjay naku call chese time, lunch tharavatha ventane meeting untadi thanaki meeting ayina ventane call chesevaadu daily marchipokunda.


cha, inka sex ye na sex lekunte wife wife kaada. inni rojulu dhaani kosame natinchaademo. ika nneu mondi ga unnannai asalu character bayatapettinatlunnadu. endaro ammayilu naa lage mosa poyuntaaru ga. ledu, nenu alanti oka ammayini kaadu naku vachina kashtaanni nene solve chesukuntaa.  i wil nt be  a loser.
cinemallo ilanti situations lo edche ladies ni chusi enni sarlu thittukuni untaano, em cheyalo alochinchaakunda edisthe panulu jaruguthaaya, evaraina vachi help chesthenena self ga help chesukolera ani enni matalu anedhanni. "where there is a will there is a way" these ladies are sick anukunedhanni. "where there is a will theer is a way" yes way . way undi terrace paiki. yes yes terrace opening ki oka door untadi aa door eppuud lock chese untadi.


ayina aa key untado ledho, entha IIM ayina hadavidiga chesetappuud edo okati vadilese untaadu proffessional criminal kaadu kada anukuntu door daggariki vellindi. hammayya anukundi. key petti door theesthondi . entha laaguthunna raavatle. chaala try chesindi kudarale, bayata nunchi vesinatlu anipinchindi. ee dhari kuda musukundhi anukundi.


akkade koolabdindhi. morning nunchi em thinaledhemo kada asalu energy ravatledu. neraalu goralu lo chusina anni cases ala mind mundhu parigeduthunnayi. vaati lonchi evaina clues vasthaayemo ani vethukuthondi. entra babu naa situation ani thala paiki ethindi.


eureka mind lo edo light veligindi, paina unna smoke sensor chusindi. asalu ee ille burn cheyali annatha kopam undi thanaki, kitchen lo velli stove on chesi, oka clothe ni veliginchi pattukodhamani kindaki vachindi. bt appude thanaki strike ayyindi, arey power cut time kada 3pm-5pm sensor emo pani cheyadu. ayina parle after 5 pm hope undi kada anukundhi.


ayina kudutugaa kurchovaalani ledu. 2 hrs tharavatha adi kuda pani cheyakapothe, cnt take chances. mind is racing now. edo oka way out undaali, firts ee bloody thoughts mothaanni flush cheyali anukundhi. flush ante gurthu vachindi washroom lo , guest rom washroom lo exhaust fan bayatiki face chesi untadi. so akkada nunchi aristhe evaro okaru vasthaaru.  thought vachindhe alasyam phataa phat akkadiki veli exhaust fan bokkalonchi bayatiki chusthondi. commode paiki ekki bayatiki asha ga chusthondi. evaraina kanipisthe bagunnu ani.akkada washing machine on ayyi undadam gamaninchindi. ee washroom asalu gen ga vaadane vaadam kada ani open chesi chusindi. andulo wardrobe lo miss ayyayi anukunna sanjay battalu unnayi


wat is happenning  confused ga undi. door open ayyinatlu anipinchindi. chusthe sanjay with a bookey and dominos cover. thanaki em artham kaaledhu. pata pata nellu kaaraayi oka udhutuna thanani hug chesukundhi. entha bayapaddanno annadi.


asalu emaindo artham kaani sanjay first thanani calm down chesi, kuchobettadu. emaindi ra emaindi cool ga cheppu ipppudu annadu. aunu wardrobe loni battalu enduku washing machine lo vesaav. adha nuvvu edo sketch box pettinatlunnav, adi leak ayyi chala battalaku antindi morning kanipisthe first wash chesi chudama nnatlu andulo padesi vella. laptop passwprd enduku change chesaav, arey adhemundi every month new passowrd set chesukomani adugudhi ga ee rojuki one month ayyindi, mari land phone pani cheyatle ninna varsham padindhi ga anduke cut ayyuntadi, asalu land line enduku vaadav nee mobile edi? ani adigaadu. nneu adagaalsindi nuvvu aduguthunnav enti annadi thanu. ekkada poyuntadi. let me try ani call chesadu thana mobile nunchi. switch off ani vasthondi. ekkadabha , aa ippuud gurthu vasthondi ninna nenu vesukunna jeans lone undi untadi. adha adi nenu washing machine lo padesa ga annadu!!!


idharam navvukunnam. thanani gattiga pattukuni dnt ever leave me alone ani hug chesukunna. aunu inthaki password enti ani adiga, "my love im sorry" is the password annadu. inka anthe aa hug inka gattipadindhi!!!!



I meet her for the first time each time

I fell in love with this line each time I read this line, I mean seriously this line is so very intense.
The meaning is so deep, I wanted to be loved like this.

why only few are able to enjoy that passion in love where as most of us fall in that category where people get bored,conversations become routine, the romance is just an act…..

I wonder which class I would belong to.. the passionate or the boring.
only I can answer it better than anyone else!!!!

everytime i see him smile
every night i see him sleep
every morning i see his half opened mouth
every time i kiss him on his lips
every time he holds my hip
everytime i lie on his shoulders
everytime i laugh with him
everytime i cry because of him
everytime I cook for him

every time everything I do for him and with him is so so very special.
So I still am in the passionate class, don't be jealous I am only few months in to the marriage:P

Marraige:(

when everything is a choice n everything depends on perspective,
there is no absolute right n absolute wrong in this world

Then why certain things are still held as holy and as MUST to have elements in life.
like marriage. is it not my personal choice ??

is getting married the gate way to escape loneliness and have a socially acceptable life?
what bat people who r divorced, whose partners have left this world?? wat about gays?
what about so many people who lose their children or people who are thrown to old age homes?

so if it not by choice n if it was enforced by what so called wise people call KARMA
then it is fine but not by choice. it is so evil to want not to marry.
it is such a big issue than anything in their lives for the parents.
why is this attitude, why is this liking for a routine mundane lifestyle??

it is fine if u guys are used to live that way, u can . u have every rite .
so am i, let me live my life the way i want to be.
i dnt find marriage a necessary element for continuing my life.
i dnt like the idea of getting married just because I'm 5 years older than the average marriage age in INDIA
or because my parents hair is getting gray or because my biological structure will be in trouble if not done things at the "rite time" or  because my relatives want a forum to gossip n have free food!!!


No , I dont want it that way. I really dont want it that way.
please leave me. why am i begging and what am i begging for n from whom am i begging?
isn't it a tragedy that i need to plead someone to live my life even if they are my parents.

wanting to live together is a very special feeling that should happen, it should just happen !!
let such a  beautiful feeling embrace me, let it drive me  crazy where i dont think about anything else but HIM.
LET THE DAY COME, I WILL INVITE U MYSELF, I WILL CALL U MYSELF but not like this.

Naatho nene

Thanaki dhuranga undali ani gattiga niryainchukunna modathi roju adi,
enduku ee niryanam ??  thanate prema ledhana, leka intlo vaallaki ishtam ledanaa, leka thanaki nenante ishtam ledhanaa??

emo!!! prathi katha lonu oka villian untaarata mari naa kathalo villian evaro!!!!

thanani lopaliki pilavaalani korukuntunna naa pedavulani maunam jayinchindi,
thanu bike start chesi "bye" ahi cheppi vellipoyaadu

nee pedavi sparsa kosam naa thanuvu loni prathi kanam eduru chusthu undani
nee vechati kaugili kosam 3 rojula nunchi eduru chusthunnanni
nee gundelapy thalavalchi haayiga nidurinchalani korukuntunnani

ila enno usulu inkenno korikalu, kaani ivevi athaniki
vinipinchaneledhu nenu palakandhe,
kanipinchanu ledhu cheekati vallemo!!!

ala paraagga room loki vachi, addam mundhu nilabadi unna.
inthalo  "dress marchukove dinner ready ani" naa roommate arupu
vasthunna annatlu thala oopa, thanaku kanipinchadanna dhyanam kuda lekunda

addam lo kanipinchindi naa mundhu rojula oka theeyati prema gayam,
daanni chusthu, aa theepi gayaniki abhishekam chesthunnatlu kaaruthunna kanneetini thudicha

gundela py thana valla vachina ee theepi gaayanni chusthu murisipona, leka
gunde lopala manduthnna badhani thalchukuni edchala?


prema undo ledo theliyani naa prema tho prema ga undakudadhani niryayinchukunna,
leni premani undani cheppi thanani thanu mosam chesukodam ishtam leni athanitho,
naaku prema lekunna parledhu netho prema ga untaa ani nannu nenu mosam chesukogalana??
anduke ee nirnayam, ………

Woman empowerment

Indian women traditionally have been the victims of patriarchal thinking,not just by men but even by woman themselves. mothers and mother in laws have this patriarchal philosophy so embedded in them that they religiously pass on to their progeny.  Woman are fed right from the day they got into this world as to what makes a perfect woman, how to talk how to walk how to dress how to obey orders how to be dependent on the male members of the family even if it is her own son.
Few female children are not fortunate enough to even learn all this, thanks to female infanticide.

Coming to what  I understand by women empowerment is, we would like woman to be informed on their rights and make her actively participate in the working of the system.
the first part of making powerful laws have been take care but is this enough??

There were laws made to empower women from the domestic violence, but would it be effective if woman has been taught that she has to suffer her husband's cruelty to be crowned as a good wife?
There were laws made to empoer woman economically by asking the parental property to be equally divided among the male and female children, but how effective will this be if it is to be robbed off her by a single signature asked by her husband/son?Divorce laws would make more sense when woman seeking divorce are not looked down by the society

What woman needs is not just empowerment with the laws being made on her favor but also a societal acceptance and woman herself believing in what she is .
in many cases a fellow women would be criticizing an other woman fighting for her rights!!!! why do u think that happens, its because of the old mind sets fed for years, that got to change for us to see
a world of equality. woman had to be taught to be more selfish, that it is ok to think of herself and not just her family. it is to be understood that fighting for ur rights and demanding what you duly deserve is not to be looked as a rebellion character but as natural it must be. only with a strong efforts on changing the mind set and social acceptance can any empowerment or any law would be effective.

If I were

It was a pleasant winter morning, with the soft breezes wishing me good morning, i lazily woke up
from my bed freeing myself from the cuddles of her.

but contrary to the nature's welcome it took me only few minutes to realize that i actually got up because
of some loud knocks on my door. I hastily dressed up and went to the door.
There i saw someone  through the peep hole and before I could ask who he is, the three lions on his cap were shining and made me salute him from inside.

he gave a weird smile and sarcastically asked me
"Sorry for disturbing you so early in the morning, I am sure you must have had a long night"
he barged in to my bedroom and questioned who she was, the one who is happily lying on bed cuddling the pillow still thinking I'm next to her.

How do I answer this simple question WHO IS SHE?
She, the angel, the love of my life.
I met her one day in a park where I used to almost daily walk aimlessly , questioning myself with so many unanswered questions,
blaming the society for the loneliness I'm in, talking to myself with none to share what I feel.
There was an immediate wave of attraction between us, as if we were meant to be met.
we spoke for hours that evening as if we knew each other for years, I poured out my heart before her
with no fears and same is the case with her. That day made a change in my life, in my lonely shattered worried life.

I found my life and love the same day. There after I have never looked back and it's almost an year now.

I was disturbed from my thoughts with his latti hit the cot and woke up my angel.
She got up with still half closed eyes , shouting for disturbing her sleep which i generally would not do.Her half opened eyes are searching for my smiling face, and her ears for a warm good morning from me which inturn has received  a  high pitch noise of the police man shouting "get up, u dog!!".

Tears rolled down my eyes as I immediately understood what is gonna follow, she hurriedly opened her eyes and realized what has welcomed
her this morning.
Police continued his yelling, " u both, the dogs are far better than u. u bloody girls are u not ashamed of doing this
in a society like ours. Put your clothes on and move with me u filty bitches." …. and the lines went on
and on.

We both silently dressed up and walked with him out of the small 1bhk flat which we recently moved in to ,
after we were embarrassed the same way in our previous flat a month ago. not to my surprise  we were
met with many piercing eyes from our neighborhood, some cursing, some murmuring, some looking at us
and sending their children inside as if looking at us would bring some bad omen to their families.These are the same neighborhood who would not turn up if a wife is bet red and blue by a husband, which
would not hear the cries of an youth bet and even killed in the name of honor. Yes it is the same neighborhood who are all eyes and ears
wen we were walking out of our flat.


An educated lawyer was yelling, take them away such a shame to my society!!
"Which society are u talking about, a society where a senior supreme court judge asked an intern to share a room with him? look in to your own
working society before worrying about the entire society"

A old lady was heard saying "rama rama, never in our days!!"
Why lady, why not in your age? when it is existing in your fore fore fathers age. keep your spectacles in place and
look in to temple carvings. u would see many of us there".

This is how silently I was shouting to the best of my voice to all these heartless people around me deep inside my heart and got in to the jeep.

I heard the horn of the jeep ringing it is ringing . it is not fading it is still ringing. Louder and louder each second.
yes it is ringing so loud that i could feel it next to my ear. intact it is the new doll that i have bought for my brother for his last bday that he
is ringing it in my ears to wake me up from my deep sleep. I got up and realized that I had such a bad dream may be it is not a bad dream.
it is an eye opening dream , I'm now 13 who is not sure about anything about future let alone my sexual orientation. I may not dare to follow my choices in this unjustful society!!!!!!

Will I Know it

After losing a leg in a recent accident , this is the first time me and my husband are going out for a walk.

can I look into his eyes and know if I have made his journey longer or slower?